Here’s the song reference.
I was going a little crazy running around this morning, and I managed to lose track of Mr. Man for a few minutes. At some point, I heard the door to the upstairs bathroom close, then the heavy thuds of a three-year-old boy doing two-footed jumps down the stairs. When I heard the door to the boys’ room open and close, I figured he had brushed his teeth, then headed downstairs to play with the spiffy food playsets he received for his birthday.
Until it was time to round up the tribe for a quick run to the grocery store, I really didn’t think any more about his foray into the bathroom. When I went downstairs to retrieve him and see if he might be aromatic, I was quite surprised that, in addition to the unmistakable odor of a pull-up in need of changing, he was surrounded by an oddly floral scent, which emanated most strongly from his Chuck E Cheese t-shirt.
As I went about cleaning up his odoriferous bum, I had a little chat with my oldest son.
“Mr. Man, why do you smell like flowers?”
“Bugaboo likes flowers.”
“Yes, she does. Mr. Man, did you spray yourself with something?”
“Yes. I spray pee pee in my diaper.”
“Mr. Man, honey, did you spray something on your shirt?”
“Yes, I spray something on my Chuck E Cheese shirt.”
“Did you borrow Bugaboo’s perfume?”
“No, I not borrow Bugaboo’s perfume.”
“Where were you when you sprayed something on your Chuck E Cheese shirt?”
“I spray something on my shirt in the bafroom.”
“Was it the upstairs bathroom or the downstairs bathroom, sweetie?”
“It was the upstairs bafroom.”
“Do you remember what color it was?”
“It was BLUE!!!!”
“Very good, then. Mr. Man, if you want to spray anything you find in the bathroom, please come get Mommy first, so I can tell you if it’s good to spray on you. If it’s not something good to spray on you, I will help you find something that is good to spray on you.”
“Okay, Mommy. Are we ready to rock and roll?”
“We will be soon. I need you to put your shoes on and put your play foods away, okay?”
“Okay, Mommy. Then we can rock and roll!”
After lifting the big fellow down from the changing table, I ran up the stairs and flung open the door to the upstairs bath. Quickly perusing the contents of the vanity top, I ascertained that there were, in fact, three bottles of blue liquid thereupon. One was mouthwash, one was ordinary Windex, and one was the Windex touch-up cleaner that’s become my best cleaning buddy of late. I’d been cleaning the bathroom yesterday and completely forgot to lock them back up under the sink. From the floral smell, I could eliminate the possibility that he’d been into the mouthwash, and experimental sniffs of the other two bottles revealed that he had, in fact, scented his shirt with the touch-up stuff.
I managed not to break the bathroom mirror when I banged my head against it.
After securing the cleaning supplies, I headed back down the steps to have a little more of a chat with Mr. Man.
“Hey, buddy. Have you picked up all of your play food?”
“I looking for one more piece of the cake. Baby Guy hid it again.”
“I’m sorry, Mr. Man. Here, I’ll help you look. By the way, can you show me where you sprayed the blue stuff?”
“I spray it HERE!” He pointed vigorously to Chuck E’s ears.
“Did you spray it anywhere else?”
“Did you get any of it on your face or in your mouth, sweetie?”
“No, Mommy. Is destinkifier. Mr. Man put the destinkifier in his armkits, like Daddy. Destinkifier is NOT TASTY.”
I managed to choke out a request that he change his shirt before I had to flee the room to keep from laughing in front of him.
Today’s prayer: Lord, thank You for Your bright and inquisitive blessings, who look to us for examples of how they should behave. Thank you for the moments of great humor that result when their imitations are imperfect, and for the twin graces of laughter and gentle redirection. Please help us gently lead them in the ways they should go, and guard our tongues against the examples we would not have them follow. Kindle in their hearts a desire for Your wisdom above all else, and until they have attained it, Lord, please give me the presence of mind to lock up all of the cleaning supplies. Thank You for Your providence, that led Mr. Man to put it on his shirt instead of on his face or in his mouth.