Here’s the song reference. The title of this post is an actual line from the song, which is funny and may stay in your head for a while.
Ordinarily, I cheer the end of the spring allergy season, as I genuinely enjoy breathing through my nose. When a day begins as yesterday does, with the aromatic realization that one of our little blessings has managed to feed Smudgie his or her vegetables again (when they try this with Bo, he brings me the offending veggie and drops it on my foot), and the result of this sleight-of-hand awaits me by the back door, I rather miss the pollen.
Once I’d cleaned the utility room floor, I could smell the coffee waiting for me upstairs, and actually received the grace of being able to drink an entire cup while it was still hot, and without interruption from early risers. Not long after I finished writing yesterday’s post, Bugaboo and Beanie stumbled out of their room, elbowing each other in the bathroom doorway. A few moments later, I went looking for the bathroom cleaner, as the odor and the sounds coming from said bathroom indicated I’d be cleaning a couple of potties to start my workday. Bugaboo emerged first, informing me, “Wow, that’s stinky. Mommy, did you know that if you eat lots of berries, you get purple poop?”
“Pretty cool, eh?” A thought occurred to me right about then. “Bugaboo, did you guys eat the entire bucket of raspberries last night?”
“Uh-huh. They were tasty. Mr. Man and Baby Guy stole the bucket, though. I think they ate about half.”
For those who do not have children, please allow me to explain. The effect a pint of raspberries can have on the digestive tracts of a one-year old two-year old boys is, to use a semi-polite expression, explosive. The bucket of raspberries devoured by the tribe contained roughly a quart of berries (we have a raspberry thicket in our side yard). As I considered whether the movie coroner’s trick of a dab of Vapo-Rub beneath the nostrils might actually work, I heard Mr. Man and Baby Guy over the monitor; the little guy was crying, the big guy was cheerfully announcing, “I stink! I stink!”
I grabbed their milk and headed downstairs. About three steps from the bottom of the staircase, I started praying that the smell was residual Smudgie mess. Noooooo such luck. I’ll mention, for brevity and decency’s sake, that the raspberry effect lasts a full 24 hours. You may wish to mention this to any researchers in the field of green energy you may happen to know.
Mercifully, yesterday was also CSA pickup day, which provided a wonderful reason to leave the house and take a nice long drive with the van windows open. We were singing and pointing out clusters of wildflowers, speculating on whether or not the ground would be dry enough at the farm to allow the tribe to have a nice romp there (it wasn’t, unfortunately), and trying to get Mr. Man to say the colors of passing cars, road signs, and traffic signals. As we passed the last traffic signal before the miles of uninterrupted blacktop leading to the farm, I heard Mr. Man exclaim, “Ew! Dat stinky!”
I cringed a little as I started thinking about whether it would be better to pull into a private drive and change the stinker on the van deck or just wait until we got to the farm, started to roll my eyes as Bugaboo and Beanie chorused from the back seat, “WHAT is that SMELL,” then burst out laughing as I realized that they were remarking on the singular aroma generated by frightened skunks. It’s not that offensive to either my husband or myself, but since we generally use the climate control in the van when traveling with the tribe so we can hear each other talk, I’m not sure that they’re ever gotten a full blast of the smell before.
“That’s the smell skunks make, guys. Remember how we read in your book that God gave some animals different ways to protect themselves, and He gave the skunks a stinky spray? That’s what you’re smelling. Sometimes skunks get too close to the road, or can’t cross it fast enough, and get run over by cars, and they make their stinky spray then, too.”
Bugaboo and Beanie considered this for a moment. I could see them exchanging looks in the rear-view mirror.
“Mommy, I think the skunks should either stay away from the road or wait for their turn to cross it, so they don’t leave all that stink for everyone else.”
Today’s prayer: Lord, thank You for making every living thing, each animal with its own special beauty and means of survival. Thank You for Your little blessings, who are fascinated by Your works, and who are curious to learn what makes each one unique, and what some of them have in common. Help me teach them to look for the miracle in each animal and plants, which ones are good to eat, and which are best left alone. As I teach them to enjoy Your bounty, please help me also teach them that gluttony of any kind does not please You, and has some unpleasant physical side effects as well. Please, Lord, grant me the grace to teach them continence in all things except love for You and for their neighbors.